Man With Sword Mistakes Porn for Rape

....was the title of the article which greeted me as I logged on to cnn.com (Sometimes I like to keep up on the latest celebrity gossip....er...breaking news). The title of the article really says it all, but you can read the rest of it here.

Today was a pretty good day. It was very windy, but the weather did not otherwise upset me. Also, I got to go to Target for work to buy some batteries and other random stuff, as well as go to the bank. Sometimes it's a big ol' hassle to do stuff like go to the post office and the bank every day for work. Those two places always seem to be packed with the Public, aka barely competent masses of people who reek of cigarrette smoke, carry 13 screaming babies with them at all times, and do not seem to understand basic truths about our Postal System or the way the bank works.

One time, I waited in line for 30 (count 'em) minutes at the Post office because some old lady was trying to send about 200 pounds worth of academic papers to her son in the Bahamas via metered mail so that he could use it for reaserch on his thesis. While she stood there arguing about whether or not she actually could send it metered mail instead of 1st class, I could not help but get angry at this woman's lazy ass son. I mean, this poor lady is about 60, and she is giving herself hernias lugging this shit to the post office to ship it to him...in the Bahamas. I mean, why doesn't he fly his lazy ass back to Toledo, Ohio and do his research here? As I watched this passion play further unfold in line ahead of me, some sneaky bastard who wanted to buy 2 regular stamps (there is a machine for that in the lobby you ASS) strolled in off the street and up to the counter, bypassing everyone else in line. And was I nice? Did I let him make his tiny purchase? No I did not. I was all, ex-CUSE me sir, but the line starts BACK THERE. Everyone else in line was about to throw down their packages and back me up, too.

But yeah. Today was pretty much one of those days where all the best jams were coming on the radio. Justin Timberlake? Yes! Snoop Dogg? Awesome! the "Must Be the Money" song? I will sit in the car after I'm parked so I can rock out. Also, I stopped in to this coffee shop to buy some coffee, and I took my "Cup O' Joe" coffee mug so as not to waste a paper cup. And do you know what the nice gay behind the counter did? He gave me a free cup of coffee! Because something about, if you bring in a competitor's mug, your first cup is free. I see many flaws with that system, but who am I to turn down a free cup of coffee? I almost blurted out, "will you be my friend?!?"

To cap off my good mood, I've officially started apartment hunting. Yes, I know that my lease isn't up until June 1st, but rushing the apartment search last time (though not my fault at all...I was given about 5 week's notice for this move/new job) landed me in the overpriced glorified closet I'm living in now. With the yelling of the neighbors and the far away laundry room (Professor Frink).

-Braxerson McGee