Country roooaaaads take me hooooooooome

Brax,

I found a cheap plane ticket and flew home to see my family last week! Here is what I saw.











It was great! Sparky is a madman, the donkeys are shaggy, the cows have babies, and you can't keep Blanche out of the pond. Spring! Spring on the farm!

It's been raining for about 10 years here in DC, but it seems to have finally stopped. We got something like 4 or 5 inches of rain in less than 24 hours, which meant that I emptied the huge stock pot in the closet twice in that time. See, the rain pools on that part of the roof, so for every inch outside we get like three inside. In the closet anyway. The other leaks are less active.

Let's talk about housing in DC for a minute. DC is the 3rd most expensive city in the country. Housing prices here are absolutely outrageous. I'm sensitive to my surroundings, Brax. I want to live in a nice place. Not fancy--just give me someplace that is clean and has a little character, and I'll do the rest.

When we first moved here, we looked about about 10 places. This was the last place we looked at, and before we came here I was literally near tears thinking that I'd have to live in a nasty ass basement. I was just out of college and Matt was starting law school and we didn't have any savings or anything. We were pretty much completely broke, and the transition from Columbus (neat little places for $600 a month) to DC (dank, roach infested holes in the ground for $1300 and up) was...difficult. Not to say horrifying. OK, I was completely horrified. There were chicken bones on the steps of, like, half the places we looked at. Why? I guess because people hang out on the steps of empty apartments and eat chicken. I don't freaking know. I DO know that if I were a landlord showing an apartment I'd get there early and clean up the chicken bones. I'm not a fancy lady, but I didn't want to live in the chicken bone house.

So I put up with a leaky roof for 3 years because a nice little place near the metro with a leaky roof was lovely compared to the similarly priced places we looked at: revolting little cellars with chicken bones on the front stoop and kitchens so narrow that the fridge wouldn't open. Most of the DC people who see our apartment remark on the great deal we're getting. It's a different universe out here, Brax.

Well, in spite of the leaky roof, this place has been good to us, so I'm not really complaining, but I must admit it will be wonderful to wake up May 29th in Ohio in my affordable little yellow house with a yard (!) and six (SIX. SIX.) closets.

Prepare yourself, because the retrospective philosophizing is not over. The closer we get to this move the more transitional navel gazing I do. Which I guess makes sense. You'll all just have to bear with me until I knock it off.

LYLAS,
Bruce

What Libby and I have been waiting for since about 1999

Hi, Everybody!

Okay, this is Part I of "what Bruce and Brax have been up to." I have decided to go in reverse order, starting with the most recent, Harry Potter weekend at last! As you all know, Libby and I are crazy Harry Potter fanatics. The depths of our fandom are eclipsed only by the 15 year olds who write fan fiction and run those Harry Potter websites. Websites which we may or may not check daily.

So, in celebration of the book being released, Libby and I always go out to dinner with Barb (Libby's mom) and a rotating cast of friends and family. After a long, wine-filled dinner, we always go to Joseph Beth's, an independant bookstore in Cincinnati, to get our books. This year, it was me, Libby, Barb, Libby's cousin Topher, Matt, Josh, and Libby's cousin Stephanie, and Stephanie's son Frankie. The drive down to the restaurant was uneventful until Barb hit something on the road, and we heard a loud "Bang!" I asked Barb if she blew a tire, and she said, "I don't know! I'm still rolling!"


Wellll.... Once we got to the restaurant (a good 5 miles down the road), it became clear that Barb had indeed blown a tire. After everyone freaked out about what to do for a second, it became clear that we all needed a drink inside the restaurant. In order to stop Bruce's mom from wandering the streets of Cincinnati looking for fix-it-flat, Josh and I decided to slip back outside and change the tire.

Well, Josh mostly changed the tire. I helped thusly:

Finally, after 45 minutes, the tire was changed, and we were finally seated on the patio. DInner was delicious, and many funny things were said. Unfortunately, the only picure I have is Libby's husband doing this:

Finally, after we were rushed out of the restaurant by the staff, we made our way to Joseph Beth's. Now, I want to preface this by saying that we have always gone to the same store for our books every year, and we have always bought pre-paid vouchers, which have enabled us to walk in at 12:15 or so, and walk right on out with our books. So, imagine our surprise when we showed up at 12:30 to this mess:

Whoa! What a line! We stood here for at least an hour. Here we are, with our vouchers. I have decided to hold my voucher in front of my face and cross my eyes for this picture:

We stood in line so long that we started to sober up, so we sent Matt and Frankie (aged 16) to the gas station on the corner for more wine. Yep, those are some classy dames in that picture. While we brown-bagged the wine, we noticed all the different costumes. All the little kids were dressed up like harry, malfoy, or luna. THe adults, however, had some pretty creative ones, like the guy dressed in a long, flowered nightgown. What a bunch of nerds we are! I had to yell at a handful of bad seeds who were flipping to the end of the book and trying to read the last sentance out loud. I bet they were scared straight.

The rest of the weekend looked like this:

And this (awww, Blanche. She's biting her feet.):

And this is a cute picture of Bruce's family eating breakfast.

Aaaaah, Libby's house. Breakfast town, USA.

Love, Brax

The Fourth

Bruce!

I know all about the Metro Problem in D.C. Last time I was there, I went to a conference. And coming home from the conference was the biggest pain in the ass, because no one knew about the stand to the right rule. At one point, as I was rocketing my way down the escalator to catch a train, I stopped and explained the rule to this group of businessmen who were lounging about on the left side with their popped-up collars. I felt so awesome, like a real D.C. person! And then, my metrocard didn't work for some reason. Yep, still just a jerk from Ohio who can't work a metrocard.

On Tuesday, I decided to celebrate our nation's independance by driving down to Columbus. I braved the fireworks downtown and met up with our marvelous friend Tome, who was catching his plane back to L.A. the very next day. I met him and Josh at a hotel room at the Crown Plaza (SO not fabulous), where I presented him with his birthday present, a bottle of wine. Things went kind of south from there, and the following pictures were on my camera the next morning:

Ahhhh, glass of wine posed on the bedside table. Josh in background, reading the Columbus visitor's guidebook provided in the room. It's pictured below:

Bruce, I tell ya. It took me hours to figure out why they pictured columbus as having a ferris wheel. In fact, it's a picture of the State Fair. Oh my! What in god's name is this creepy thing??

My best guess is that it's a picture of a page from the guide book.

And finally, someone snuck this picture of me. I call it "Contemplative Wino."

The next morning, we all watched Mythbusters in the hotel room and then went to First Watch (I know the face you're making right now!), and then Tome had to leave. I wish I saw that awesome dude more often. Josh and I saw Paris je t'aime, which was really sweet, and also the first movie I've seen in the movie theater in about a year.

Whew! When I got home, I worked on this baby blanket I'm making. It's for my future baby! Ha ha!!!! Just kidding, it's for a baby shower I'm going to at the end of the month. Here it is, draped over my couch and poorly lit:

And here it is, all spread out on the floor. And poorly lit. It's bigger than it looks. I'm making it out of a cone of peaches and cream cotton (classy!). It's yet another Argosy pattern...I'm obsessed! It's just so relaxing to knit, and it's one of those patterns that's really easy but looks impressive to the non-knitter.

I love having days off in the middle of the week. It's pretty sweet. And I also know you'll find a job soon. You are awesome and you'll get a job where they appreciate that. In the meantime, keep enjoying unemployment. I know I always did!

Brax

Another day older and-a deeper in debt

Brax,
Shut doors, open windows! There is a little bit of post-Comfest letdown going on here, especially considering the way my week is going. NOT an awesome week. Of course, you know me! My faith was shaken for a good 16 hours, but now I believe in everything again. Better things! Screw it, let's talk about Comfest!



For the benefit of our readers who were NOT so fortunate as to be there, here is what happened at Comfest:

Friday evening:
-My plane lands.
-Arrive at Comfest, meet up with Brax, get beer. Get cold noodle salad. Lay in grass. Hug thousands of people.
-Destroy O'Riley's Pub. Jessica falls over, Prince's number one hit "7" is played multiple times, bottle breaks in my shoe.
-Tina Turner, ravines, hippies, lawbreaking, Taco Bell.

Saturday:
- Arrive at Comfest. Get veggie burger with cheese and coke. Consume while watching Gay Pride parade.
-Get beer and Indian Food, consume on blanket.
- Shop for dress. Find gorgeous dress. Enter "changing room," consisting of two sheets hanging from a hula hoop, secured by clothespins. Try on medium. Medium will not fit over my ass. Struggle out. Try on large. Large has gaping caverns of fabric where my tits would be if they matched my ass. Think maybe medium will go over my ass if I step into it instead of pulling it over my head. Am horribly, horribly wrong. Struggle out. Give up on dresses.
-Lay on blanket, consume french fries, funnel cake, and two individual pizzas.
-Dance to Lab Rats.
-Go home, watch Airborne. Watch Brax make out with pizza.

Sunday:
-Brunch!
-Arrive at Comfest, get beer. Lay in fluctuating blanket community--sometimes one blanket, sometimes many many blankets.
-Shop.
-Magical husband brings snacks. Lay on blanket.
-Topher does fish boat dance. Lay on blanket.
-Get veggie supreme nachos and veggie burrito. Lay on blanket. Get ice cream.
-Lay on blanket.
-Say sad goodbye to Comfest.
-Have gorgeous evening with kids.

What a weekend! I think I got to see everyone that I wanted to see. I think I even got to actually talk to everyone I wanted to see. Sober! Sober enough.

So good to see you! Only 359 days til next Comfest!

Love,
Bruce

p.s. Elvis was totally hot when he was young. Damn.

turn and face the rain d-d-douchebag

Brax,

Ohio was so fun! It was so great to see you. Thanks so much for driving down to see us. I feel so much better. (You might recall that I was totally exhausted and burnt out before the ol' vacation.) My favorite parts of the vacation:

1) Seeing everyone, both the Country Mice and the City Mice. Country Mouse: Tammy is the best for hatching a brilliant cook-out plan so that we could see all the Country Mice at once. City Mouse: KT is the best for having every jerk in town over to her house all weekend to carry on and drink and act bad. (Admittedly, the line between Country Mouse and City Mouse in Ohio is at best blurry.)

2) Meeting the pony. I am sorry that you didn't get to meet her too, because she is beautiful. Apparently she is only living there temporarily to keep Milton company. Soon they are going to get 1 or 2 miniature donkeys to be Milton's friends, and then Shelby will go home to the Watson's farm. It's great to have the kind of farm where they buy extra livestock so the animals aren't lonely.

3) Richard's by-god Pizza. Oh man, veggie hoagie, cheese pizza, I wish I had you here right now.

4) Being in the country. Woods! Trees! Wildlife! Flowers! I took some quality walks, I can tell you.

5) When I dropped the light on Matt's head.

...AND, of course, while I was there I got an unexpected call about a job, which turned into 2 unexpected phone interviews, which turned into an offer. And now I have a new job! I said my goodbyes to the ANA folks, who I will miss. And I put in my notice at the LYS today, and of course they were the nicest about it and said I can still be a teacher and they are happy for me.

Just call me One-Job-Bruce!

So some of my anxiety about the Husband's 2 month absence is gone. I was really worried that I would have a long job search, and sit alone in my house all day watching Days of Our Lives and trolling Idealist.org in mounting despair. And then end up waiting tables. So yeah, having an exciting new job to keep my busy is good. Also I am having lots of visitors.

I've been knitting on tubey like a madwoman. I am going to have sweaters this winter, dammit!

OK, it is totally lunchtime.
Bruce

The winos visit the country, with pictures

L. Bruce,

Here are the pictures I promised from our mini-break. The first night, the Night That Will Live in Infamy, produced about 25 pictures, almsot none of which are acceptable for public viewing. (Think eyes half closed, failed self portraits of our necks, dancing, no flash, etc.)

Nevertheless, here we are next to all of our "empties," after we had to switch to your dad's beer. Did we ever replace that? Oh well, it was probably from Thanksgiving anyway. Say what you want about us, we can hold our wine like nobody's business.

The next day, we went to a picnic at Libby's grandparent's house. We put a bottle of wine in a beer cozy. Thank you, Watson Gravel!

This is one of my favorite pictures from the trip.

On Tuesday we went to Honey, a restaurant in Cincinnati with delicious food and wine. I wonder why we like it so much? Here is Libby's great aunt Jean and her cousin Tammy.

And here is me listening to Libby's grandmother, Ruth. You do a lot of listening when Ruth is around.

Next, I got tired of taking pictures, so I handed the camera off to Barb. Barb took about 20 pictures of the group. They all came out like this:

I love that place so much. Everyone teased me for getting red wine when it was 85 degrees outside, but my wine was delicious! Best wine I ever had...it smelled like flowers.

I came home on Thursday night after an exhausting day of meetings in Columbus, and I worked a lot on my shrug. So far, I have finished the sleeves and back, and I started seaming the sleeves. I just need to do the orange ribbing around the body and I'll be set! It will probably take me awhile though, because it involves picking up stitches. I've set aside projects with way less picked-up stitches, I tell you what.

This is the back.

It was lovely to see you! I wish I could have joined you in Columbus, but I needed some serious down time. This weekend, I'm mostly listening to Tegan and Sarah and watching Breakfast at Tiffany's...but I will be fine.

Safe trip back!
Karen

Wow!

Brax,
Today there is a big Washington Post expose on worker compensation for American nuclear weapons workers who have cancer. Whaaaaa? OK, it's not an expose for those of us who have been working on the issue, but it is to a lot of other people. I have to say I am a little irritated, because if your experience with this issue was limited to just reading that article, you would have nary an inkling that grassroots have been working on this for years at every site and nationally. But I think there is an old saying about a gift horse and a mouth, or a baby and some bathwater, or something like that that probably applies. The important part is, people are being treated abominably and the Post is bringing national attention to it. We even got a little OH..........IO! shout out.

Did I ever tell you that when I was a kid, I thought "abominable" meant alive or animate, because of the Abominable Snowman? The outstanding feature to me of the Abominable Snowman was that he was an ALIVE snowman, not that he was a meanie. So, for example, if someone were to say "How is your Grandma's pneumonia?" I would respond, "She is very sick, but at least she is still abominable."

....24 hours from now, I will be in the old faithful Corolla, probably somewhere in West Virginia, begging Matt to stop for Pizza Hut and playing with my little magical music player, gearing the hell up to sit in the grass drunk with my dog, with Barb and Steve and Topher, and with your sweet self. We are going to have so much fun! For one thing there is a new pony, which I know is sad because of Silas colicking so bad and dying so young. But they had to get a new pony to keep Milton Burro company. Look at that face...that little guy needs a buddy.

So we can meet the new pony, Shelby. And also we can drink wine and eat food and git bit by mosquitoes and have jam sessions. Practice "Raised on Robbery" on your drive down, I want to try it out. Hooray!

See you...um, TOMORROW.

-Bruce