green stuff

I'm, like, really into these things right now.



I'm going through 2 boxes a week. I'm eatin' them right now. As we speak. As I blog. DAMN PITA CHIPS YOU LOOKIN GOOD.


Reclamation Scarf. Artyarns supermerino. 2 balls. Shoot, I'll wear it.

This weekend I went home to the farm for a few days to celebrate a couple things. One was my cousin Frank's 18th birthday. He was recently named Prom King, and he's about to graduate. We're pretty proud of him!

I also wanted to spend Mother's Day with my mom. And I needed to get away for a couple days, anyway. So we went to see A Little Night Music, which was just fantastic. I'd never seen it. Most of the time was spent just hanging out on the farm though. Here is spring on the farm, in photos.

Max and Phil. When you've got cookies, Max (the black one) does a sweet Stevie Wonder impression.

These guys want carrots like I want pita chips.

The Guinea Foul: Vinnie and Minnie. If they get separated for any reason they FREAK OUT.

Dogs.

Cows.

Familytown.

Green.

Luv,
Bruce

beer, california, cougars, hope, change,

Here is your RDA for cute! Now you're set for the day.

Last night I got off work at midnight and headed to the bar to drink some beer and watch a band play. KT and I headed to my place at last call (passing through WHITE CASTLE on the way for a sack o' sides), where, champions we, we made it happen til 5:30 AM.

This did not seem so brilliant when my alarm went off. I got up at 10:15 AM and took a half assed shower without getting my hair wet because that would mean having to do this whole style/blowdry routine. I instead opted for a sloppy flat iron to give the illusion of grooming. I got dressed in an outfit comprised by maybe 80% of things I'd worn to the bar the night before, had half a cup of coffee, and left the house. Grubby, hungover, no sleep Bruce. I had to stop by the Science Pirate's place on the way to the shop because he had my shop key (because he is now not only my friend but my employee and I could fire him or dock his pay (haha, pay) if I wanted). So I walk into his house and he comes downstairs and he looks at me and says, "Hi. You look nice."

Now that will make a girl feel good. It's awfully pleasant to be told you look nice by someone you see every day, on a day when you didn't really sleep and you didn't really groom and you are pretty much feeling like a mangy old hooker. Feeling like Pabst is coming out of your pores.

Anyway. So that was a nice start to my day. I look nice! Excellent, so that's done.

I went to TNNA a couple weeks ago, were I met some nice people and talked to them about my book, and was also called a Cougar by a passing young man. Here's me and Karida and Stefanie moments before the incident:

Yes, seconds later a man walked by us and yelled, at us, "RAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Cougars!" Lookit them cougars. Look, don't ask me, I don't know.


San Diego was straight up awesome. When Matt dropped me off at the airport, it was -10 in Columbus. San Diego? 76 degrees. Karida and I checked into the hotel and headed straight for sushi and the bay. Here we are, at this restaurant with wonderful sushi and terrible service. We were absolutely giddy at the warmth. We just kept saying things like "We are outside. We are outside. I can't believe we're outside. I wish I wasn't wearing socks."





These are pretty much the only pictures I have from San Diego that don't involve Karida sitting behind a 28 oz. margarita. I took, like, no pictures at TNNA because my camera was dying and is now dead. Where is my charger? Where? Where? Why?

I arrived back in the deep-freeze of Ohio at 10:30 PM on Sunday January 18. The next morning Matty and Topher and I hopped in the car and headed to DC, where , I don't know If you've heard about this, but they were having this swearing in ceremony thing for the new president. It's actually kind of a big deal. He's the first black president, they say.

We were lucky. We hit no traffic to speak of, and we were able to stay with our friend. (If you are a friend of ours in DC and we didn't call you while we were there, please don't be mad. We were in town for less than 48 hours and we just didn't have time to visit with people. We're doing a real visit in May, we'll hang then.) We pretty much showed up, went to the inaug, and left. My camera, as I say, was dead, but Topher took lots of pictures, which you can look at here. We were about as far from Obama as you could get and still be on the Mall, but man. Just being there, in that city, in that crowd, at that moment...I'm just really glad I was there.

It was a pretty exhausting 5 days, from San Diego to Ohio to DC and back to Ohio again. Totally, totally worth it, though.

So things are going pretty good here, except for the whole deep freeze thing. I'm pretty ready for spring now. February starts tomorrow. Be strong, folks.

Bruce

Exoskeleton

I'm sitting here at 2 AM with a glass of wine listening to the Dixie Chicks on repeat. It doesn't sound like a recipe for awesome, does it? Well, shit, I don't wanna talk about it, let's talk about something else.

1) Tinker, tinker. I've been tinkering around with this Manos I mentioned in my previous post. My So Called Scarf? I know I said I was anti. I lied, it's a really nice pattern.

2) On Thursday afternoon Brax and I arrived at my house, still smacking our wine lips from an evening at my parents' house. (We practiced some new songs with my mom, for our Andrews Sisters band. Those of you who find yourselves on the Thanksgiving drunk dial list get ready, we've got some excellent selections for you this year. Remember, let voice mail get it.) Also, woods-walking, naturally:


Anyway, we arrived at my house, and in the door was a big fat envelope, and in the envelope was:


The proof! The proof, the proof! The book proof, which Karida and I must look over very closely, and make any changes we want, because this is the last call for changes on the drunk knitting book. It has pictures in it and everything. There is even a picture of me and Karida in it, and we don't look stupid either. They put make up on us and stuff, so we look pretty stylish. Karida called me up and we dorked out over it for a while.

3) No Good Nick recently posted about the Book It! program from the 80's. Do you all remember this? You got pizza for reading books. PFFFFFFFFFFFT. I WOULD BE SO FREAKING FAT IF THIS WERE STILL TRUE.

My house, like Nick's, was always full of books, and my mom let me read whatever I wanted. The only book I remember my mom telling me not to read was Little Birds by Anias Nin, which I, of course, read the very second she left the room. I definitely read things that were over my head (I read the Catcher in the Rye when I was 11, and Possessing the Secret of Joy when I was 13. These were over my head.). It didn't do me any harm, and I'm a firm believer of letting kids read whatever they want.

I still read like a madwoman. When I went to Monticello last year I was all twitchy because I wanted to read Thomas Jefferson's books, which were, of course, behind glass. The tour guide was like, "Well, here's his books! That guy sure liked to read. Now if you'll all follow me into the bedroom..." So I didn't really even get to look at them very much. Dang, I like books.

This is why I can't get behind Kindle.

Things Kindle can't do
-have a book smell
-have old notations written in it
-sit on a shelf and tell you about the person who owns it
-be a time capsule (I stick things in books and joyfully rediscover them years later)
-have "Fannie Roberts on her Birthday, from Aunt Bev, March 12, 1946." written on the inside cover.
-get dog-eared and well loved.

Nick made a list of books he's read in the last 3 months, and I don't have that kind of time, but I figure I'll follow his lead. Here's a smattering of stuff I've read recently.

Wuthering Heights Emily Bronte Yeah, yeah. I'll never get sick of it. Over and over and over and over, I will read Wuthering Heights. I'll read it a million times and never totally get it, and I'll notice something new every time. I love this book.

The City of Dreaming Books Walter Moess This book was pretty freaking weird. The imagery was pretty brilliant, though, and I appreciate the creativity of a fellow bibliophile. The illustrations are completely charming.

The Mists of Avalon Marion Zimmer Bradley is vast and beautiful and cobwebby. Reminds one of one's feminist roots. Reminds one to deconstruct the framework of mythology, love, power, religion.

The Twilight Saga (Stephanie Meyer) Questionable in so many (many. many.) ways, and yet I read the entire series in 2 weeks. Reminds one that sometimes a story is a story and maybe you should stop thinking about it so much and just focus on wanting to bone the vampire.

Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka) Maybe Kafka is over my head? Exoskeleton.

The Portable Dorothy Parker I cannot stop with this book. I carry it around with me like I'm 16 and it's my goth girl journal. I love Dorothy Parker so much. If I could go back in time, I'd go straight to the Algonquin Round Table for a highball wearing a low-waisted dress and a fox fur scarf. Dottie and I would get drunk and be snarky to everyone and then we'd go out and act bad in high society. I'd explain that she should stop trying to kill herself because I'm from the future and know that she'll never actually manage it. It would be rad!

That was fun! Maybe I'll blog about books more.

Later,
Bruce

Good Morrow!

Everybody,

Brax and I went to the Ohio Renaissance Festival! I don't need to hear about how the renaissance festival is nerdy or whatever. It's fun! IT'S FUN! We totally loved it. For one thing, people being total dorks and dressing up in costumes and living out a big fantasy every weekend is awesome to me. It's the kind of thing I like. I read novels for an average of two hours a day--it's the same thing except I don't have to do any work or talk to other people or put on an outfit, so these ren fest people are go-getters comparatively.

For another thing, The costumes are awesome! Most of them are handmade. There are craftspeople all over the place at the ren fest. Weavers, knitters, tailors, sculptors, embroiderers, painters, silversmiths, people who make essential oils and incense, people who blow glass and cut crystal and practice old-fashioned black smithing, people who handmake furniture and carve stone and make stained glass art, people who make dulcimers from scratch. We loved it!

Here is the weaver's loom.


There was a lady selling knitted stuff and quilts. And fleece blankets, which was weird.
The same lady made this crazy ass thing:

I can't decide if I love it or fear it, but I do know that it is definitely funny.

Brax and I went through the labyrinth.

It didn't take us very long because we are so smart.

Here is the glass blower in his glass blowing studio:


He was being very nice about answering questions about his craft.

Here's the queen:


Here's this horse all dolled up for the joust:


Here's our classic 1500's lunch:



Here are these humorous gravestones:

Wives talk too much!!!


Teenage boys jerk off too much!!!

Anyway, we went to the Renaissance Festival and we had fun, the end!
Bruce

Gemini

Everybody,
Sorry for the silence! Brax's computer is dead again, and the reason we share this blog is cause neither one of us is together enough to blog regularly on our own.

Things are steady steady steady here. I am writing on the book a lot, and I am gearing up to teach a mess of classes over at Wholly Craft in July and August. I have to say I am also spending a big chunk of time sitting in the sun and drinking wine. It's summer! I don't think that on my death bed I'll be saying "I wish I hadn't spent all that time in the sun drinking wine when I could have been working harder." I guess in the story I would have been the grasshopper.

Let me tell you about my new house. It's great!!! I've got an office just for me, with a funny little closet for my yarn, and a desk for me to write at and a spot for my swift and my sewing machine. It's got so many windows that it's almost like being outside.



There's my desk! I'm not done decorating in here yet,but I'm already pretty happy with it.


There's my shelf! And what is that above it? Is it a little door in the wall? Maybe a gnome-sized door, like, 4 feet off the ground, just hanging in space?

YEAH IT IS! The creative genius people who built this house wanted there to be closets aplenty, and there isn't room for a regular old closet in here. So what did they do? Why, they built a horizontal closet. It goes back about six feet. For a minute I was calling it a spare bedroom, because it is pretty much exactly the perfect size for a person to hang out in there, but that was kind of creepy and really, it works fine for yarn.

I am amazed at the improvement in my quality of life in this new spot. Little DC apartment, you were good to us and you mostly did your job, but jeeze louise this is so much better.

Last week was my birthday, and Brax got me a fabulous present. We went up to Toledo, where they have some really sweet yarn shops. At Yarn Cravin' (excellent name for an excellent shop) I bought me some of this stuff that I'd been eyeballing ever since I first discovered it on our Seattle trip in November.

I can't get the gorgeous mossy-green-flecked-with-gold color to show up right, but trust me, if I could, you might pass out from the gorgeous.

Next we headed to Fiberworks, where we manhandled there gigantor selection.

I wanted to knit a bed out of this yarn and just roll around on it.

After this sweetass yarn tour of northwest Ohio, we headed up to Detroit to see Alison Krauss and Robert Plant at the Fox Theater. Oh, man. We expected it to be awesome, but we did not expect to walk out of there speechless. I have never seen so many world class musicians all in one place. If they come anywhere near your town, you'd better go see them. Also if you don't have their record you should buy it.

So it was a pretty fantastic birthday. Thanks, Brax!

OK, this blogging is fun and all but it is Comfest this weekend, and I've got a 32 oz. beer mug that needs fillin'. Later dudes!

Bruce

Part II

Brax,
Yeah, I know, I said part 2 was coming "tomorrow" about a week ago. So sue me!

The Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival has fluffy animals, sure. It has piles of roving, bags of feathery raw wool, sheep dog demonstrations, the best soft serve in the world, and hanks of yarn what would make a grown woman weep. Incidentally, it also has some pretty great license plates.








My favorite is "Sheepy." Sheepy!

The weather is terrible here! It's cold and windy and wet and shitty. It's giving me a headache. The other thing giving me a headache is this sweater for the book, which had to be entirely dismantled yesterday. Chuh. Grumble. I think that if I can just get it to look in reality how it looks in my head, then it will be a totally amazing and fantastical supersweater! At least, it will be my style and I'll be satisfied. Fortunately, crappy weather is the best knittin' weather, so it looks like my weekend=Masterpiece Theater and yarn.

-Bruce

p.s. sorry about your coffee situation, dude!

OMG MDSW

Brax,

Maryland Sheep and Wool! It's this weekend. There is so much to tell that I think I'll have to do it in 2 posts.

I'm not one of these people who goes out there at 6 AM on Saturday and gets in wool brawls over hanks of handspun. I have to say, I don't really get that. (Although I think it's fair to say that I never actually get waking up really early for any reason whatsoever.) Nope. My carload got there around 11:30 ready to see what was what.

For those of you who don't live on the east coast, here is how big MDSW is:


It's huge! And pretty. And bright.


I met a lot of folks!

Some alpaca buddies:




Some Sheepy friends:
Some goat guys:

Some all-business workin' dogs:

Some rabbits (disapproving, of course):




I also had some human friends there, dyers and knitters and designers, completing the extended yarn family. Here's Karida and Ellie.






We really did it up. I got this mind-blowing root beer float. I mean, I'll be telling my grandkids about that float.

I didn't buy any yarn or anything until the very end, when I spotted this big sign that said "NEW VENDOR" and I headed over to find Llamajama! Llamajama is the kind of business that I pretty much can't resist. For one thing, its name is a rhyming nonsense word which has an animal in it. Llamajama. That's my style.

In addition to super fantastic wool and alpaca yarns, they also make wool wash. But they're primarily about these adorable, make-your-uterus-jump-out-of-your-body-on-a-quest-for-some-sperm-cute knitted baby clothes. That's right, they're that cute.

The best part, though, is that the baby stuff is hand knitted by a cooperative of women in Ecuador. So when you buy some soakers or pants or hats or stuffed rabbits, you're also supporting sustainable, self-determined economic development. Rad!

Here's what I bought:


I am itching to start knitting with this stuff. It is pretty bulky and the yardage is good, so I think I can get a hat and a scarf out of it at least.

Luv ,
Bruce

P.S. Tomorrow: Sheep and Wool: When Nerds get Vanity Plates