Kill me now.

Bruce,

Make it stop. Seriously, I am getting really tired of all the snow. It keeps happening! I know you hate February (and all the other winter months, for that matter) just as much as me, so I feel like you can sympathize with my pain. It makes me never want to leave the house. I'm like, "I could brush my hair, but why bother? It's cold outside." And I kind of just lay in my house wearing pajamas and watching netflix on my days off. It's actually quite pathetic.

Also, I have managed to slam down a jumbo coffee in the last hour. I am like those marathon runners, who chug at their water bottles, except replace the marathon running with "sitting still" and obviously replace water bottles with "nothing but coffee all day."

Today, I asked two of my employees to "please go to Michael's and pick out about 6 or 8 posters" for work, and as a thank you, "I will buy you lunch." I am like the best boss ever. I was going to go to Michael's myself, but every time I go there, I end up buying a bunch of cheapo cotton yarn or something goofy for a craft project, or more posters for my home, so I decided to end the cycle of spending money.

I've realized something about myself. I am a way way loose knitter. My personal gauge is gi-normous compared to the average, usual gauge you see in patterns. This discrepancy had never been more clear to me than the other day, when I finished a dish rag. It was the ballband dish rag from Mason Dixon, and apparently it was supposed to be 7 inches by 7 inches. Mine was about 10 inches by 81/2 inches (wider than it is long). I feel as though I am washing my dishes with a beach towel. And I used size 7 needles, and if anything, the yarn I used (sugar n' cream from Michael's) is actually thinner than the peaches n' cream.

I was devastated by this realization. From now on, I will have to carefully swatch everything before I knit it. Also, those cabley fingerless mitts I'm working on will probably take more than one skein of yarn. I really believe this will set my knitting back again. I will have to work up the discipline to knit a sweater, even when I know it's going to mean swatching and frogging and reshaping countless times. I think this might explain why it took me so many more yards to do the clapotis than it took you.

Anyway, my life is over. I'm going to go put on my pajamas and knit a rectangular garter stitch scarf now.
-Brax