Another day older and-a deeper in debt

Brax,
Shut doors, open windows! There is a little bit of post-Comfest letdown going on here, especially considering the way my week is going. NOT an awesome week. Of course, you know me! My faith was shaken for a good 16 hours, but now I believe in everything again. Better things! Screw it, let's talk about Comfest!



For the benefit of our readers who were NOT so fortunate as to be there, here is what happened at Comfest:

Friday evening:
-My plane lands.
-Arrive at Comfest, meet up with Brax, get beer. Get cold noodle salad. Lay in grass. Hug thousands of people.
-Destroy O'Riley's Pub. Jessica falls over, Prince's number one hit "7" is played multiple times, bottle breaks in my shoe.
-Tina Turner, ravines, hippies, lawbreaking, Taco Bell.

Saturday:
- Arrive at Comfest. Get veggie burger with cheese and coke. Consume while watching Gay Pride parade.
-Get beer and Indian Food, consume on blanket.
- Shop for dress. Find gorgeous dress. Enter "changing room," consisting of two sheets hanging from a hula hoop, secured by clothespins. Try on medium. Medium will not fit over my ass. Struggle out. Try on large. Large has gaping caverns of fabric where my tits would be if they matched my ass. Think maybe medium will go over my ass if I step into it instead of pulling it over my head. Am horribly, horribly wrong. Struggle out. Give up on dresses.
-Lay on blanket, consume french fries, funnel cake, and two individual pizzas.
-Dance to Lab Rats.
-Go home, watch Airborne. Watch Brax make out with pizza.

Sunday:
-Brunch!
-Arrive at Comfest, get beer. Lay in fluctuating blanket community--sometimes one blanket, sometimes many many blankets.
-Shop.
-Magical husband brings snacks. Lay on blanket.
-Topher does fish boat dance. Lay on blanket.
-Get veggie supreme nachos and veggie burrito. Lay on blanket. Get ice cream.
-Lay on blanket.
-Say sad goodbye to Comfest.
-Have gorgeous evening with kids.

What a weekend! I think I got to see everyone that I wanted to see. I think I even got to actually talk to everyone I wanted to see. Sober! Sober enough.

So good to see you! Only 359 days til next Comfest!

Love,
Bruce

p.s. Elvis was totally hot when he was young. Damn.

Kitchen Porn

Brucie,

Whoo! Did I ever have a good time at the ol' comfest! I felt I should say that because we have spent the last 3 weeks talking of nothing but on our blog, and people probably want a follow-up. On Monday after I had gotten done dropping you and Hix at the airport, I finally found my phone charger and checked my messages. I had 8 new messages, and they were all like this:

• New Message. "Karen! I just got down here! I'm going to get some pizza and I'll meet you at the blanket!" BEEP
• New Message. "Duuuuuuuuude! Buddy! We're here waiting for the parade to start, where are you? Call me!" BEEP

....and so on. So it was a little bittersweet, but checking all your comfest messages the day after comfest is kind of a tradition. No more sad! Kitchen pictures........

So yeah, the kitchen is always the most put-together room right away. For me, anyway. Otherwise, the beer gets all warm and you will order pizza for every meal until you know where your clean dishes are. Much as I would like it to, my budget does not allow for this.

I also got a new microwave! You may remember the old microwave, pictured below:

Believe me, the coffee cup for scale does not begin to describe the enormity of this microwave. It is 1200 watts, is large enough to fit a whole turkey, and frequently blows the fuse in the kitchen when used in conjunction with any other appliance. By the way, my knowledge of its ability to fit an entire turkey stems from my parent's culinary genius, to be discussed at a later time.

Anyway, Lil' Chernobyl, as Tome affectionately calls it, wouldn't fit on the counter of my new kitchen without overlapping onto the stove. In addition to being bad feng shui, I was faced with the possibility that I might not be able to use two of my burners...so I bought a new, pretty microwave!!!

Look at how nicely all the chi flows on this side of the kitchen!! Here's a closeup:

Damn! This picture didn't look so fuzzy on my phone. Anyway, this microwave is kind of too good for me. I'm not really sure how to use it. If you push "1" like you're going to make it go for one minute, it just STARTS! Fancy!!!! Also, it has a whole bunch of extra buttons, including one preset for....

Milk? Why?!? Who on this earth microwaves their milk? And why is Milk different from any other Beverage?

"Gee I'm thirsty, Bruce! May I have a beverage?"
"Sorry Brax, all I got is milk!"

That exchange is so wrong on so many levels.

See you later, I'm off to knit some stuff!

-Kbrax

A post about knitting, sort of!

Brucie,

Knitting! I know, right? I mean, this is a knitting blog. But like you, I don't seem to be doing much knitting lately. It's summer, it's freaking hot out, and I am busy! But I do have some pretty sweet yarn shots for you. Unfortunately, after knitting half the body of the wrap-around sweater I was working on, I discovered that huge gague nonwithstanding, my sweater was about 4 sizes too small. Whoops! That yarn substitution will get ya every time! So sadly, but with conviction, I cracked open a Miller Hi Life and frogged the whole thing. Here's the pretty silk lace-weight yarn I'll be knitting it out of (again, on 11's):
Hand dyed, of course, by Karida. Thank you again Karida! Prettiest yarn ever! Moving on, I'm also planning on knitting the mohair scarf from Summer Knitty outta this:

It's soft, it's green, it's sitting in a bowl. So, that's all the knitting news out here in Braxville. Other than not knitting, I have been putting my kitchen together. I've got pictures of that, too, but this is already a picture-heavy post. I think we'll save it for when I have nothing else to talk about. I've also been doing a lot of shopping at Target for stuff for my new place, and you know how they have those enticing DVD displays at checkout? Well, look what I found:

My favorite movie from 3rd grade! I used to watch this thing 3 times a week, whenever I went over to my friend Laura's house. (They went to my dad's church, and were extremely wealthy and had a house that looked like a castle to me, in comparison to our house which was actually crooked, I'm pretty sure. After we moved away, I heard they disowned their gay son.) When I was a kid, I was of course thrilled by all the dancing and the sex, but I never picked up on the whole abortion sub-plot. I guess it's because they never say "abortion" or "pregnant;" they say things like "in trouble" and "take care of it." Oh, the sixties! Oscar seems incredulous that I would be so naive.

While unpacking, I've also come across some of the old patterns my grandmother gave me when she heard I had learned how to knit. It's like my very own museum of kitchy stitches!
Maybe this should be our blog picture:

And check this out! Don't they test for these sorts of things in the womb?

No jokes about these children. They are scary! Don't believe me?.........

AAAAAAAA!!! Children of the corn!

Finally, nothing says love like a bulky, white, seed-stitch and cabled sweater.

See you tomorrow!!

Love,

Braxie

Utter Nonsense.

Hey Brax,
It is totally hot here! You know I am not one of these people who is addicted to my A/C, but I sure cranked it up last night. Worked all day, and now I'm chillin' on the couch, watchin' a little Dateline. Il Monstro de Italia! What a creepy serial killer. I shouldn't be watching this. I'll probably be up all night worrying about an Italian serial killer from 20 years ago. They never caught him! He could be anywhere.

What was that noise?

Anyway, here are some things:

1. Have you seen this ? A 360 degree tour! Pretty great, huh? It's not exactly how I pictured it--I pictured it as bigger and more basementy...maybe with stone walls. The dumbwaiter is a nice touch.

2. Thanks for the lovely birthday post. At work they had a cake for me, and then I met Karida, Micah, Ellie, and Jess for birthday dinner. Mmmmmm. So a good birthday.

3. I feel totally guilty for having no knitting progress for you. I've been adding about an inch to Tubey each week. So she looks approximately the same as last time, just a little longer. I'm just not much of a project-finisher. My 825 other projects have not been touched in weeks. Ugh. I hate not having enough time to knit. I hope things settle down a little soon.

4. Do you love or hate that yogurt commercial? The one that goes "You're my leetle fluffy one!" I have to admit, I sort of love it. You're my leeetle fluufffy one!!! doo doo doo. I'll probably start singing it to the cats now.

5. Let's make a million of these:


Can't wait to see your face on Friday night!!!
Bruce

Dear Bruce,

You say it's your birthday!
It's my birthday too yeah!

You say it's your birthday

We're gonna have a good time!

I'm glad it's your birthday!

Happy birthday to you!

Love,

Braxie

Virginia is for Traffic and Trampolines

Brax,

Busy busy!! The ol' husband is visiting. Hooray! I hadn't seen him in 2 weeks and maybe this makes me a big cornball, but when he finally showed up I started to cry. I was having a bad day and ovulating, too, so maybe that contributed to the unusually obvious emotion. I am not much of a crier.

Then the next day I cried some more, because we drove out to Norfolk, VA where two of our friends were getting married. The drive was supposed to take 3 hours. The wedding was at 6. We left DC at noon. WE MISSED THE CEREMONY. Now I know why all the Virginia political advertisements are always talking about what the candidates plan to do about traffic. God Damn! I know we lost 20 minutes with gassing up and Taco Bell, but come on, 6 hours? I am really sorry I missed the ceremony, but that's not why I cried. I cried because the reception was so beautiful. It was a gorgeous wedding and everyone was so happy. Plus, Norfolk is way cuter than you would think. The wedding and reception were in this museum on the waterfront, and the reception was outside with the trees and the water and the dancing on the ancient flagstones! AND there was an after party. With. A trampoline. Oh my God, I nearly ruined my fancy clothes, got a concussion, and barfed. I was just mad about the trampoline. Thankfully I was with some cool girls who were also mad about the trampoline. So a totally excellent way to spend a Saturday.

Um, Comfest! Friday! So excited, my plane gets in at 5:40, so I'll be drunk by 6.

XOXO,
Bruce

okay okay

You guys have convinced me! I will get my own booth at comfest. The line to bring me beers forms to the left, and the line for make-outs forms to the right.

9 days till Comfest...

Spruce Moose,

I'm working really late, so I decided to take a Blogging Break.

I'm pretty sure I'm building myself up for Comfest only to have it fall short of my wild expectations. Lately, I've been reeeeeally tired and stressed out and driving all over Ohio and moving and stuff. I am worried I'll show up at Comfest on Friday afternoon all jittery from no sleep and lots of coffee, and walk around with giant bags under my eyes and proceed to get insane drunk and try and make out with the world by 5pm and pass out on the blanket before it gets dark.

Soooo what I've been trying to avoid in my life lately.

I wanted to take this opportunity to post so that I could:

1. Fill you in on the past weekend with Karida, and
2. Post something so the first thing people see is neither mayo nor a picture of me with a bunch of chin fat.

Unfortunately (fortunately?), no pictures were taken of the Knitter's Connection or the evening afterwards. But it was super fun! I arrived predictably late, because I had to fill up my almost-flat tire on Saturday morning, but Karida took it in stride. We had a fun day sitting in her booth with her pretty pretty yarn and talking to people. Karida is my new favorite person because she gave me a hank of silk lace-weight yarn, and I'm totally going to make that mohair wrap from fitted knits out of it. I will be sure to post some pictures. Hi, everyone! We still knit!

After the Connection, I went out to Buca di Beppo with Karida and Erika and a whole slew of knitting people. There was a giant jug of house chianti already on the table, and one of the knitting people poured me a glass immediately after I sat down. (dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn) Karida also tried to set me up with a friend of Erika's. He is probably a pretty good guy, but as the night wore on, I got too drunk to pretend he wasn't annoying me, and vice versa. Oh well! It was awesome to see Karida and Erika and meet all the knitters from central Ohio.

I also got my hair cut this weekend. I was going to get it dyed, too, but I remembered my appointment time wrong and Emily called me 20 minutes after I was supposed to show up asking me where the hell I was. Whoops! Am I ever going to get my shit together? But Emily managed to squeeze me in, and I look way better. I would post some pictures, but all the pictures I keep taking of myself look really horrible under the flourescent lights of my office. I think it's the gigantic bags under my eyes.

See you soon!!

-Braxie

Everything you never wanted to know about me and cotton

Brax,

Not a lot of knitting content lately! I am going to do a Project Inventory this weekend and share it with you, complete with photos. I am pretty sure there are some moldy old projects that I don't even remember starting lurking around the couch area. So I need to really get that under control. Until then, though, because I don't want the freaking mayo to be the first thing people see when they click to us, here is what you and I looked like as we rang in 2007:

That right there is a moment! I think we are performing a little Cher in this photo. I am rocking out with the big mouth of doom--someone stick a sandwich in there! OR maybe I am about to eat you and you are about to punch me. The gentleman in the background looks sad to see 2006 go. OR maybe he is sad because he couldn't get in the bathroom because li'l Topher doesn't know how to drink responsibly yet. Memories!! It is nice to know that where ever life takes us, we will always ring in the new year with the same group of drunk jerks, just like we've been doing since we were 18. Sure, there has been an addition here and a subtraction there, but the core group of people is pretty much unstoppable.

So we recently discussed cotton. I thought I would take this conversation public, and clarify my position.

I am not an anti-cotton hardliner. I think cotton can be really nice for baby stuff and warshrags. And there are some special cotton yarns out there that are great for general knitting. But 99% of the time I would just rather use wool or one of its affiliates. Cotton is heavy. All that weight can pull your knitting out of shape. It doesn't spring, it just hangs. Depending on the brand, cotton pills. Because cotton has no elasticity, nice even stitches require special attention. But the main thing is that I very, very rarely look at a cotton yarn and get excited. Wool just pushes my buttons in a way cotton never can!! Wool! I love you wool. Cotton, you are cool, but we are just never going to have the kind of close, passionate relationship that wool and I enjoy.

I am, however, an anti-linen hardliner. You could not pay me to knit with linen. Urrrgh, I am shuddering just imagining it.

Anyway, so that's the story on me and cotton. Get ready for Project Inventory 2007, coming soon.

Bruce

mmmm....

Can I just say?

Mayonnaise is freaking repulsive.
I literally cannot believe that people eat mayonnaise.

Moving, Part 2

Brucie,

Yesterday I watched that episode of the Simpsons where Marge and Moe turn Moe's tavern into a British Pub, and Homer gets jealous that they're having an emotional affair. Anyway, at the end of the episode, Homer and Marge sing "Love Will Keep Us Together," and THAT is what's stuck in my head right now. It's so bad I've caught myself humming it a few times. And it's the Homer lyrics, you know, "Some sweet talkin' guy in a thong....gives you a bong...."

The official Moving Day was Sunday. That was the day the movers came. At first, everything went great! They came about a half hour early, loaded up the truck with their giant beefy muscles, and then they were about to hop in and drive to the new place, when one of the beefy guys noticed a puddle of fluid under the truck. Upon closer inspection, it was brake fluid. Apparently, brakes are sort of important on giant moving trucks. So, the beefy movers had to call their boss, who drove out with his baby momma (I"m not kidding) to check out the truck.

45 minutes later, the new truck arrived and was loaded with my belongings from the other truck, the old truck was towed, and we were on our way. Once we got to the new apartment, we had some logistical problems. Option one was to park the truck in a parking lot that was far away, and carry the furniture about 1/4 of a mile around the building to the front, into the courtyard, through the downstairs entrance, and up to the 3rd floor in a tiny, dark staircase. Option two was to park in a smaller lot right by the outside staircases that went right up to my apartment, but simultaneously block in all the cars in the lot. Obviously, the movers went with option 2. This involved moving the truck every time someone wanted to leave.

About 2/3 of the way through my stuff, I heard a rumble of thunder, and drops started to fall from the overcast sky. In a few minutes, drops had turned into a full-on downpour, with thunder and lightning hitting VERY close by. The beefy movers were not deterred. They continued to run heavy, hastily packed boxes up to the 3rd and/or 4th floor, while I sat in my kitchen, freaking out about how long this was taking and what more could go wrong, chugging a beer and wiping off my furniture with paper towels. Before long, the rain turned into torrential rain, coming down at an angle towards my door. The seal under the upstairs bedroom door leaked a bunch of water into the guest bedroom, even though the door was closed and locked. The water also leaked down, so that I had to set up coffee mugs on my kitchen counters to catch the leaks.

Finally, the rain slowed down enough that they were able to move in the mattresses, and I hastily wrote a check for some insane amount of money, and it was over. I went out onto my upper deck, and saw that the street was completely flooded with about 6 inches of water, and cars were getting flooded out. I got some good pictures, including a guy standing on his pickup truck with the hood open, and some douchebag in a lexus having to be pushed to the next street by an ice cream truck. Unfortunately, my camera cord is still packed somewhere, so it will be awhile before I can share those gems with you.

I decided to take Monday off work and put together my bookshelves. I even alphabatized my books by author!

Aaaah, bookshelves. Now, I just have to unpack my clothes and the kitchen and I'll be set!

Sorry for the long post with almost no pictures!

Love, Brax

president of jerktown

Hey Braxie,
wow, am I in the doghouse. I feel terrible. My parents were going to come to DC this weekend. They got their businesses covered and had a dog sitter, and were ready to head out on Thursday...that is, day after tomorrow. And I just called them at 8:30 PM on Tuesday to tell them not to come.

I suck.

I'm the worst. I have to work all day Friday. I was going to try and weasel out of work on Saturday. But then I remembered about Sunday--I realized that I do, in fact, not get a day off at all this week. And yes, I absolutely should have thought of this before. I could have told them last week if I had only been smart enough to put 2 and 2 together. WHY am I never on top of anything? They asked when to visit and I told TOLD them to come this weekend. Jeeze. Go ahead and ask me what they did with their poop in Victorian England. Ask me about the history of Fair Isle knitting, or if Harry is a horcrux, or about the upcoming presidential election.

But do not ask me what is on my calendar for next week. I have no idea.

When I realized that Sunday June 10th meant this Sunday and not just some vague Sunday sometime in the future, I just had to tell them not to come. There is no point in them driving 8 hours to see me if I can't hang out with them.

This is the really hard thing about living so far from home. It it a big deal when I get to see my family, and so everything has to fall away before that. But I have to draw a line so that I can have a career. Sucktown. I really hope that my parents can come another weekend, a weekend when I can really spend time with them. In the meantime I feel like Joan Crawford's daughter must have felt after she wrote Mommie Dearest.

I am the busiest girl right now. There is crap going on every single day from now til August. I am still working out my 2 weeks notice at the LYS, and the new job is long hours. I like the job and I don't mind long hours, it is just super hectic when I am working 2 jobs and trying to have something of a life. You gotta have days off! Those people who work 70 hours a week and act all holy about it can eat my balls. Days off rule. Days off are necessary for well being. Days off are for people who have their priorities in order.

Congratulations on the new apartment! I can't wait to see it.

XOXO,
Bruce

p.s. Here's to Seamus and her stomach of steel.

Moving, Part 1

Brucie,
I have no idea why this is being underlined right now! No idea. But no matter, because I got the keys to the new place on Friday! After moving some boxes of books inside, I decided to christen the apartment with a beer, seen here in the kitchen.

Also seen here, in the downstairs half bath (why 2 sinks? I don't understand.)

Man, what was with that underlining shit back there? Anyway, here's my beer doing a little laundry:

Here's the beer hanging out on the upper deck. For real, I have 2 different decks, one off the kitchen and one off the guest bedroom. Everyone, come visit me and hang out on the upper deck!

Finally, here is the ol' champagne of beers doing the requisite "looking down the spiral staircase" shot.

...So there are your "teaser" shots of my new apartment! It's in a way cooler neighborhood that is full of these old, beautiful Victorian houses. My building was built around 1920, but it was renovated a few years ago, so I have all the nice stuff like central air, up to date wiring, and no asbestos. It seems really luxurious with the spiral staircase, but I did the math, and it's only $28 more per month than what I was paying for my tiny little apartment on the west side.

So, yeah. Moving Part 2 is soon to follow, with more detailed photos of the cats checking the place out, actual furniture in the apartment, and riveting tales of water damage.

-Braximus Maximus