Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Bruce's news round up


It’s another one of those days where I have opinions on a bunch of stuff in the news! Today there are two items of good news for animals and the environment! Nice! Good news! As usual, lots of all caps.

1) Wait, farm animals are animals too? Like a cat? Or a dog?

2) For months, the interior department has been putting off making a decision on whether or not polar bears are a threatened species. Like when I put off budgeting because I know I spent too much. I think their reasoning goes like this: “But…but…but…if the polar bear is a threatened species (and we can’t reasonably say it’s not) then we have to take action to protect them which means we have to actually do something about global warming! OH NO THAT WILL MAKE EXXON MOBILE SO MAD AND THEY SIGN THE CHECKS.”

Anyway, now this is happenin’. Thanks, judicial branch, for doin’ what you’re s’posed to do.

3) I don’t get what the big deal is about Miley Cyrus. I don’t know. I feel like I see way, way, way creepier shit than that all the time, like sexy-lingerie-wearing-dead-tied-up women on Law and Order and other crime shows, and honestly even the “Baby One More Time” video. It’s funny: when a woman is all dolled up and being sexualized, it is A-OK (Victoria’s Secret, Britney Spears at barely 18), but when they look kind of natural and regular and they’re being sexualized, it is TOTALLY CREEPY AND WRONG AND SOCIETY IS GOING TO HELL and OH MY GOD I AM SO OFFENDED (American Apparel ads, Miley Cyrus).

4) Reverend Wright: I’m not saying you’re wrong. I agree with some, maybe most, of what you said. But if you don’t shut your big mouth you are going to ruin our chances of having the most progressive president in decades, maybe ever. Oh my God, will you please shut up? Yesterday’s speech was about your big stupid ego, and nothing else, and you’re forcing Obama to keep talking about you, to defend himself because of you, when he needs to be focusing on getting elected and starting to clean up this abysmal, disastrous mess that we’re in. Do not ruin this for the world.

Ok, Karida says she has something awesome to show me, so I have to go look at it.

Later buddy!


P.S. The awesome thing Karida had to show me was a delicious crab cake kind of thing only it was made of tofu and veggies, and I think it was genius and I'm going to try and make one at home.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Excellent news day for animals!!! Also, I think maybe Britney was younger, like 16 when Baby One More Time came out. No wonder she's such a hot mess.