Thursday, March 27, 2008

the news of the day


Part of my job is reading the Washington Post, the New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal every morning. The news usually ruffles my feathers, but I think this week I’m feeling pretty crotchety, and two things, one vastly more important than the other, made me mad. Here’s some comments on both of them.

1) Meghan McCain: I know that a lot of blogs are being mean about her, and I don’t want to jump on some sort of train of people who wish she would please put on a classy suit like Chelsea and just stand there behind her dad like a good girl. On the other hand.

I am just TIRED of seeing her pretty little face everywhere. For one thing, it is gross that that old grandpa, who was probably 105 when my dad was born, has a daughter younger than me. For another, it is quite irrelevant to me, to you, and I suspect, to the soldiers in Iraq, the people about to lose their homes, the polar bears, people without health insurance, and people waiting for their unemployment checks what a rich, privileged 23 year old thinks about anybody’s shoes. I don’t mind that she has a blog and her own life and stuff, but I really, really wish the nation’s major news outlets would stop telling me about it.

2) Nukes to Taiwan : You guys. DOD accidentally sent a bunch of nuclear missile parts to another country and then they didn’t notice for two years.

In fact, they never actually noticed. Eventually Taiwan was like, “um, this box you sent us says “secret” on it. We thought it might be important.” (I'm paraphrasing.)

How, how in Holy Hell, do you accidentally send nuclear missile components—some of the most dangerous and, theoretically, strictly controlled objects on the planet—overseas?

The department of defense gets the single biggest chunk of our tax money, you guys. They are supposed to be protecting us.

This has really restored all my faith in the government. I totally believe that all nuclear weapons are secure and there’s no way a terrorist could possibly obtain one, and I think we all owe DOD our gratitude. Thanks a lot, DOD. It’s a good thing that YOU GUYS get all the money instead of schools or parks or roads or food stamps or health care. You’re obviously putting it to good use and I don’t know why us liberals don’t just shut up and trust you.


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