February Flowers!

No, not those crappy potted tulips in the grocery store that mess with my head every year. (I love tulips. They're my favorite flower. Love them. I wanted to name my imaginary future daughter Tulip but Matt pretty much straight-up vetoed that. Yellow tulips are the best ones, but I also really love those dark blood-red ones. So every year February hits and the grocery store has a bunch of them in little pots, and I get all excited! But they are pitiful tulips, as flowers from the grocery store always are, and they die die die. It's no good!)

No, knitted flowers. Accompanied by some pretty interesting discussion. It's a research project! Check it out.

In other news, February is almost over, which means you will soon stop wanting to set your winter coat on fire and run out of the house in your underwear, screaming. Is that just me? I'm at that point, where I'm just miserable about day after day of jeans-sweater-boots-coat-hat-scarf, and tomorrow too, and the next day. Every day I go to get dressed and I look at all the pretty clothes in my wardrobe and then I turn away from them, and put on jeans-sweater-boots-coat-hat-scarf. Oh, February, just die already!

Oh yeah! Also, guys, look...



Book book book book. Pints and Purls! Me and Karida's names, right there on the cover. Wow! You can preorder it on Amazon! And you can even preorder it from Target, which I guess means we've got some mainstream appeal. Which is unexpected, but cool. The day I got my advance copy in the mail, I took it to karaoke with me, to show off. It was getting kind of handed around the bar, and this guy I know walked up to me, pointed at the back of the book, and said "ISBN NUMBER. It has an ISBN number. It's totally a real book!"

Yeah! It is. Neato!

Luv,
Bruce

WOAH finishing tip

I just got my mind blown on Ravelry. They're having a conversation over there about "Tips that make you go "d'oh." Guess what I learned? This is so cool, you guys. And it actually kind of made me go "d'oh!" because it was a little obvious when I thought about it. This is why I love knitting. You think you know it, and then it turns out there is something so basic, like binding off, that you don't know crap about.

So anyway, did you know that you don't have to thread the tail through the last stitch when you bind off? You don't have to make that little knot. You can just BO to the final stitch, thusly.



Then you pull on your final loop, like you are loosening it up in order to thread the tail through it, like a sucker.

BUT YOU DON'T STOP!

You keep pulling. Pull it right the hell out. I know that you are thinking that if you don't tie it off, it will all unravel. But man, trust me, I just tested this out, and it works.

BAM. Finished edge, nice, pretty corner, no wonky, nubby bump where you threaded through your tail.

How cool is that?

I luv you, Ravelry!

Bruce

Oh my god, oh my god, eww, eww, eww

OH MY GOD THREE GUESSES WHAT THIS FELTED OBJECT IS. One, two, three, I know you didn't get it.


It's a UTERUS. WITH A FETUS IN IT. But it's not, like, anyone's womb, my womb, or your womb, it's not the general womb.

It is Bella's womb, you guys. With the bloodsucking demon fetus in it. That's a tiny bloodsucking demon fetus, lovingly rendered in wool, by a fan.

I love books, and I love crafting, and I love it when crafting and literature come together, especially in a wacky way. But no. No, no, no, this is not right.

While we're on the topic, I read the Twilight series with ravenous interest, I loved it, I couldn't put it down, I'll probably read it again, and me and all my girlfriends did, in fact, go to the midnight showing of the film, where we all squealed along with the 12 year olds when Edward walked on screen.

Spoilers ahead, nerds. Although if you haven't read it yet, where you been?

On the other hand, while I was still reading the books, I spent hours on writerly tirades about how Stephanie Meyer is kind of an awful writer, and hours more on feminist tirades with Cabbage and Brax about how the series is, in many ways, actually horrifyingly sexist and messed up. If I were a mom I'd have to have a very serious conversation with my daughter before I let her read these books, which enthusiastically reinforce unhealthy and actually insane ideas about love and romance. Like, for example, the boy you like when you're 17 is your soul mate for whom you would die, and he is your whole world and it's all so romantic, and you're soul mates just like Romeo and Juliet! (teenage suicide=true love.) Or Cathy and Heathcliff! (more obsessive "love," soul mate/ownership crap. Note to Meyer and other women who buy this crazy line--Bronte was not trying to paint a portrait of true love with Wuthering Heights. Oh my God, no. You people are messed up if you're looking for a Heathcliff-Cathy dynamic in your love life, Holy Monkeys you are SO MESSED UP, get therapy, please.) It all gets even better when he miraculously rescues you from a stranger gang rape in an alley! And when he breaks up with you your life ends and you jump off cliffs and stuff, for fun, but oh good, he came back so everything's fine again, whoopee, let's all be vampires! Because, at 17, you are totally positive that you will love this person not only for the rest of your life, but for the rest of eternity.

However. Meyer is surely doing something right, because despite all that (and more) I am still, totally, a fan. I am genuinely completely confused about why I loved these books so much. I kind of turned into a dumbass teenager while I was reading them, all giggly with the knowledge that Edward could show up at any second. Even though I knew that Jacob was totally a better choice, I was still in love with Edward, imaginary Edward, because if a real Edward showed up in my life I'd be all "co-dependent! red-flags!! RUN AWAY!!!"

Anyway. So that felted womb is pretty crazy, huh?

Bruce

Cascade Rustic...

...is completely gorgeous. I'm actually softening my hardline stance on linen, purely because of Cascade Rustic. I'm having trouble capturing the beauty in a photo, you'll just have to trust me.

beer, california, cougars, hope, change,

Here is your RDA for cute! Now you're set for the day.

Last night I got off work at midnight and headed to the bar to drink some beer and watch a band play. KT and I headed to my place at last call (passing through WHITE CASTLE on the way for a sack o' sides), where, champions we, we made it happen til 5:30 AM.

This did not seem so brilliant when my alarm went off. I got up at 10:15 AM and took a half assed shower without getting my hair wet because that would mean having to do this whole style/blowdry routine. I instead opted for a sloppy flat iron to give the illusion of grooming. I got dressed in an outfit comprised by maybe 80% of things I'd worn to the bar the night before, had half a cup of coffee, and left the house. Grubby, hungover, no sleep Bruce. I had to stop by the Science Pirate's place on the way to the shop because he had my shop key (because he is now not only my friend but my employee and I could fire him or dock his pay (haha, pay) if I wanted). So I walk into his house and he comes downstairs and he looks at me and says, "Hi. You look nice."

Now that will make a girl feel good. It's awfully pleasant to be told you look nice by someone you see every day, on a day when you didn't really sleep and you didn't really groom and you are pretty much feeling like a mangy old hooker. Feeling like Pabst is coming out of your pores.

Anyway. So that was a nice start to my day. I look nice! Excellent, so that's done.

I went to TNNA a couple weeks ago, were I met some nice people and talked to them about my book, and was also called a Cougar by a passing young man. Here's me and Karida and Stefanie moments before the incident:

Yes, seconds later a man walked by us and yelled, at us, "RAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Cougars!" Lookit them cougars. Look, don't ask me, I don't know.


San Diego was straight up awesome. When Matt dropped me off at the airport, it was -10 in Columbus. San Diego? 76 degrees. Karida and I checked into the hotel and headed straight for sushi and the bay. Here we are, at this restaurant with wonderful sushi and terrible service. We were absolutely giddy at the warmth. We just kept saying things like "We are outside. We are outside. I can't believe we're outside. I wish I wasn't wearing socks."





These are pretty much the only pictures I have from San Diego that don't involve Karida sitting behind a 28 oz. margarita. I took, like, no pictures at TNNA because my camera was dying and is now dead. Where is my charger? Where? Where? Why?

I arrived back in the deep-freeze of Ohio at 10:30 PM on Sunday January 18. The next morning Matty and Topher and I hopped in the car and headed to DC, where , I don't know If you've heard about this, but they were having this swearing in ceremony thing for the new president. It's actually kind of a big deal. He's the first black president, they say.

We were lucky. We hit no traffic to speak of, and we were able to stay with our friend. (If you are a friend of ours in DC and we didn't call you while we were there, please don't be mad. We were in town for less than 48 hours and we just didn't have time to visit with people. We're doing a real visit in May, we'll hang then.) We pretty much showed up, went to the inaug, and left. My camera, as I say, was dead, but Topher took lots of pictures, which you can look at here. We were about as far from Obama as you could get and still be on the Mall, but man. Just being there, in that city, in that crowd, at that moment...I'm just really glad I was there.

It was a pretty exhausting 5 days, from San Diego to Ohio to DC and back to Ohio again. Totally, totally worth it, though.

So things are going pretty good here, except for the whole deep freeze thing. I'm pretty ready for spring now. February starts tomorrow. Be strong, folks.

Bruce

Remember how hot it was in July?

This was the scene on my street last night. Look at my sad little face!

Holy crap!

It's, like, -400 degrees outside. Yesterday was a little mini blizzard. When I woke up I was pleasantly surprised by the buckets of snow falling from the sky. Pretty! Fun! But then it kept it up for 12 hours. Cancellations! Accidents! No karaoke tonight, kids. Let's all hole up and play games.

Scattergories!

Other cozy winter activities:

Kitten Naps!


Bakin' savory pies!

Irish hiking scarf!

Baby Alpaca Chunky! It's for dad.

Raglan!

I thought I'd throw together a little raglan cardigan using Cascade Jewel. Jewel is a Manos knock off, and it is really nice. The colors are chewy and full, it is easy to work with, and it knits up beautifully. It also felts real nice, if that's your thing. For my cardi, I didn't really swatch or make a plan or anything. I just sort of assumed I'd get about 4 sts to the inch. I'm only about 5 rows in, so we'll see where we end up. That's what I call "Designing."

Wine!

KT bought this wine because she is allergic to sulfites. She says that most people are allergic to sulfites and that's why they get bad hangovers from red wine. She says that I am probably not allergic to sulfites because red wine is like mother's milk to me, and I have never gotten those monster red-wine-hangovers I've always heard about. See how KT going to culinary school improved all our lives? Now we know about certain kinds of hangovers.

Clean out the pantry!

Snowstorms are the best time to clean out your pantry. Look how happy he is, happy about his clean, clean pantry fulla food! He's a little OCD, though, so don't be disappointed if you clean your pantry out and do not experience this kind of radiant joy. He also gets that look on his face when you show him an Extreme Weiner.

Emerald Isla Yarns!

We're pretty excited cause Esmeralda is dyeing up a batch of this kind of beautiful thing for the shop. It's gorgeous, and I love that she is a super cool lady who lives right here in Clintonville.

That's all for now. Stay warm, my pretties, and stay tuned for stories from San Diego! I'll be at TNNA with Karida, hanging out in North Light's booth, doing promotion stuff for Pints and Purls.
You know, that book we wrote.

Luv,
Bruce

That was a big year.

Another New Years Eve. NoGoodNick did a better rundown of the evening than I could possibly do, especially since I left my camera at KT's place. (KT! Gimme my camera.)

OK, 2007 was a train wreck, so last year at this time I was blogging about how 2008 had better be excellent, and life had better not throw me any more crap for a minute. My blogs were answered. 2008 really didn't throw me much crap at all. I did scary things. I powered through my last 5 months sitting at a desk, powered through a 425 mile move, and wrote a book, opened a shop, and flipped my life around in just about every way you could imagine. I took big huge risks in my personal life and my professional life. People I love and respect told me I was taking too many risks and walking the wrong path. They were trying to help, but I think the big lesson for this year is Sometimes I Am Right. This year, everything changed, everything changed awesomely. The only constant, as usual, is the people, the same old goofy drunk wonderful people. (The ones who worried for me turned right around, held their noses, and helped me anyway. Really, wonderful people.)

So that's kind of fun. I am incredibly grateful for a year in which my heart didn't get broken, I didn't lose a loved one, I kept everything I loved and then added more. Cynical me is reading over this, and saying, "get ready for disaster." Well, OK. I'll get ready. That's life. For the moment, I'm full of gratitude for getting to be exactly where I want to be, no matter how much work or risk is involved.

I was thinking this morning about how I just clicked SNAP! into my new life. How going to work every day in DC was like tryin' to squeeze into size 5 jeans (!), and here I am now, just snap! right into my work, my friends, my family, my home, my serving job. Snap. Just like that.

What do I want for 2009, though? I'd feel like an asshole asking for anything. The absolute best I could hope for is more of this, more of the same. I want to make things, and I want to keep everything I love.