Another New Years Eve. NoGoodNick did a better rundown of the evening than I could possibly do, especially since I left my camera at KT's place. (KT! Gimme my camera.)
OK, 2007 was a train wreck, so last year at this time I was blogging about how 2008 had better be excellent, and life had better not throw me any more crap for a minute. My blogs were answered. 2008 really didn't throw me much crap at all. I did scary things. I powered through my last 5 months sitting at a desk, powered through a 425 mile move, and wrote a book, opened a shop, and flipped my life around in just about every way you could imagine. I took big huge risks in my personal life and my professional life. People I love and respect told me I was taking too many risks and walking the wrong path. They were trying to help, but I think the big lesson for this year is Sometimes I Am Right. This year, everything changed, everything changed awesomely. The only constant, as usual, is the people, the same old goofy drunk wonderful people. (The ones who worried for me turned right around, held their noses, and helped me anyway. Really, wonderful people.)
So that's kind of fun. I am incredibly grateful for a year in which my heart didn't get broken, I didn't lose a loved one, I kept everything I loved and then added more. Cynical me is reading over this, and saying, "get ready for disaster." Well, OK. I'll get ready. That's life. For the moment, I'm full of gratitude for getting to be exactly where I want to be, no matter how much work or risk is involved.
I was thinking this morning about how I just clicked SNAP! into my new life. How going to work every day in DC was like tryin' to squeeze into size 5 jeans (!), and here I am now, just snap! right into my work, my friends, my family, my home, my serving job. Snap. Just like that.
What do I want for 2009, though? I'd feel like an asshole asking for anything. The absolute best I could hope for is more of this, more of the same. I want to make things, and I want to keep everything I love.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Saturday, December 20, 2008
10 10 10 10 for everything everything everything everything
1) WINTER. My love of winter is over. It only took a few weeks for the charm to wear off. If winter were a person I'd punch it. O, tropical District of Columbia, with your handsome 40 degree winter days! Oh, my Lord in Heaven, it is cold. Those of you reading from DC will remember me saying that, in Ohio, the sun doesn't come out from November to March. We're in the middle of that now. It's awful.
2) KNITTING. It's good weather for knitting, though. I've started (yet another) Irish Hiking Scarf. Again, in Baby Alpaca Chunky. This one is for my dad. He requested exactly this for his Christmas present, which made my life a lot easier because I never know what to get him. Plus, I can pretty much do Irish Hiking Scarves in my sleep at this point.
3) FROGGING. My My So Called Scarf is getting frogged because I did it on a stupid 10.5 needle. Fact: You need to use an 11. That little millimeter is the difference between awesome and stupid. Goddammit. I was all, MSCS, it's cool! And then Cabbage and Brax started doing them too, on the correct needles, and theirs were SO MUCH PRETTIER than mine that I almost set them on fire. So I'm seriously bitter about the MSCS.
4) WORKING. Brax and I are working really hard lately. I was thinking the other day about last year, that golden, golden period last year, when I absolutely hated my job, but I only had one. Just the one job. Sure, it was a huge struggle to get out of bed in the morning, yeah, but it was just the one job. The whole thing isn't a problem except on Fridays and Saturdays, when we have to juggle both our serving jobs and the shop, and at least one of us will end up working til 2AM. Them's the breaks!
5) DRINKING. We're responding to the stress in the usual way: going out. Alcohol has been involved. For one thing, my ol' man has been out of town on business (Hah!). I think it's pretty funny that whenever he goes out of town I act like I'm 19, considering the fact that he does not constrain my actions in any way when he is around. He's kind of rad that way and, given my priorities, I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't. Still, whenever he goes out of town I kick it, hard. The other thing is, people are starting to drift into town for the holidays. Party time! The third thing is, there is karaoke every night of the week in this crazy town. I'm running out of songs to sing, and am open to suggestions. In case you're wondering what my nights look like, here's me and Brax and Cabbage rocking "Goodbye Earl."
6) COLD AND FLU SEASON. The past week has been pretty fun, but the result of all that fun is that I'm freaking sick. Some kind of cold or flu or somethin'. If this post is incredibly disjointed and stupid sounding, it is because my brain is NOT WORKING. I feel all cracked out. There is no such thing as enough sleep. The Science Pirate was just here and gave me some cough drop things that made me feel a lot better, but I am, regardless, dying to get back in bed.
7) KITTEN. It doesn't help that this is waiting for me in bed:
Mr. Rochester is a little devil. He'll suck you right into his web of snuggling. He'll also attack your face while you're asleep. He's getting along with the other cats. Cat harmony has been pretty much restored. Lucy even gives him a bath sometimes.
8) I BLOGGED ABOUT A BLOG. Hey, good news for you nine-to-fivers who are tryin' to kill time 'til happy hour: we have a new blog friend. Our nice cowboy band friends, the Rodeo, have a blog now. Only two posts, and the author (Mason. Remember Mason?) already fell and hurt himself. Here at Wine Lips, we call that good blogging.
9) EXHAUSTION. I think I have exhausted my supply of nonsense to blog about. Happy holidays, guys! Stay warm, eat pie!
Luv,
Bruce
2) KNITTING. It's good weather for knitting, though. I've started (yet another) Irish Hiking Scarf. Again, in Baby Alpaca Chunky. This one is for my dad. He requested exactly this for his Christmas present, which made my life a lot easier because I never know what to get him. Plus, I can pretty much do Irish Hiking Scarves in my sleep at this point.
3) FROGGING. My My So Called Scarf is getting frogged because I did it on a stupid 10.5 needle. Fact: You need to use an 11. That little millimeter is the difference between awesome and stupid. Goddammit. I was all, MSCS, it's cool! And then Cabbage and Brax started doing them too, on the correct needles, and theirs were SO MUCH PRETTIER than mine that I almost set them on fire. So I'm seriously bitter about the MSCS.
4) WORKING. Brax and I are working really hard lately. I was thinking the other day about last year, that golden, golden period last year, when I absolutely hated my job, but I only had one. Just the one job. Sure, it was a huge struggle to get out of bed in the morning, yeah, but it was just the one job. The whole thing isn't a problem except on Fridays and Saturdays, when we have to juggle both our serving jobs and the shop, and at least one of us will end up working til 2AM. Them's the breaks!
5) DRINKING. We're responding to the stress in the usual way: going out. Alcohol has been involved. For one thing, my ol' man has been out of town on business (Hah!). I think it's pretty funny that whenever he goes out of town I act like I'm 19, considering the fact that he does not constrain my actions in any way when he is around. He's kind of rad that way and, given my priorities, I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't. Still, whenever he goes out of town I kick it, hard. The other thing is, people are starting to drift into town for the holidays. Party time! The third thing is, there is karaoke every night of the week in this crazy town. I'm running out of songs to sing, and am open to suggestions. In case you're wondering what my nights look like, here's me and Brax and Cabbage rocking "Goodbye Earl."
6) COLD AND FLU SEASON. The past week has been pretty fun, but the result of all that fun is that I'm freaking sick. Some kind of cold or flu or somethin'. If this post is incredibly disjointed and stupid sounding, it is because my brain is NOT WORKING. I feel all cracked out. There is no such thing as enough sleep. The Science Pirate was just here and gave me some cough drop things that made me feel a lot better, but I am, regardless, dying to get back in bed.
7) KITTEN. It doesn't help that this is waiting for me in bed:
Mr. Rochester is a little devil. He'll suck you right into his web of snuggling. He'll also attack your face while you're asleep. He's getting along with the other cats. Cat harmony has been pretty much restored. Lucy even gives him a bath sometimes.
8) I BLOGGED ABOUT A BLOG. Hey, good news for you nine-to-fivers who are tryin' to kill time 'til happy hour: we have a new blog friend. Our nice cowboy band friends, the Rodeo, have a blog now. Only two posts, and the author (Mason. Remember Mason?) already fell and hurt himself. Here at Wine Lips, we call that good blogging.
9) EXHAUSTION. I think I have exhausted my supply of nonsense to blog about. Happy holidays, guys! Stay warm, eat pie!
Luv,
Bruce
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Mr. Rochester!
First snow! Well, the first real snow. Here is how I know I'm really, for really real, back in the midwest.
I love it. I know I'll hate it by February, but shoot, I hate everything in February, so PFFFFFT. The bad thing is, it's hurting business 'cause the traffic is bad and no one wants to go out in it if they don't have to. They're all staying home wearing sweaters and drinking tea. Obviously they should be here buying yarn from me, right? Speaking of which, for those of you who are curious, the big opening went really well, and so far so good with the shop! Still, tell your friends, ok?
Here's the really big news for the day:
This morning I asked Matt, who was out "running errands," to bring me a coffee at the shop on his way home. So he comes inside, hands me the coffee, and says, "AND...I have an early Christmas present for you."
I said, "Early Christmas present?! Why, cause it's snowing?!"
Then he goes outside, and comes back in with........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is my early Christmas present and he is six weeks old and I named him Mr. Rochester, Chester for short. Tiny baby Chester! He is totally chill about not knowing what the hell is going on. Poor kid had been a lost stray momless baby, and then was living with a good Samaritan for a while, and the good Samaritan give him to Matt, and Matt took him to the vet, and the vet poked him and shined lights on him and stuck him with needles, and then Matt tied a ribbon on him and gave him to me, and I pawed at him and cuddled him and wouldn't put him down. So he has had a rough life so far. But he is sort of like "Whatever" about it. He's not asking for any special treatment. He's too cool for all y'all's nonsense. Mr. Rochester is a total badass despite weighing less than a hank of Cascade 220 and having a nerdy English literature name.
Sister and Lucy haven't met him yet. They are quarantined in the basement while he gets acclimated. Matt gave them tuna in an effort to make them associate Chester with delicious tuna.
Oh, hey, City of Columbus, I'd like to tell you that I've been sitting in my shop looking out my giant front windows at the street all day and you are doing a TERRIBLE JOB of keeping the roads clear. You're gettin' my goat here.
People keep sliding around and getting stuck, and I haven't seen a single snow plow. This is getting ridiculous! I mean jeeze, this is High Street. It's the first road you should plow. What the hell?
Hey, wear a scarf, guys, it's cold out there!
Bruce
I love it. I know I'll hate it by February, but shoot, I hate everything in February, so PFFFFFT. The bad thing is, it's hurting business 'cause the traffic is bad and no one wants to go out in it if they don't have to. They're all staying home wearing sweaters and drinking tea. Obviously they should be here buying yarn from me, right? Speaking of which, for those of you who are curious, the big opening went really well, and so far so good with the shop! Still, tell your friends, ok?Here's the really big news for the day:
This morning I asked Matt, who was out "running errands," to bring me a coffee at the shop on his way home. So he comes inside, hands me the coffee, and says, "AND...I have an early Christmas present for you."
I said, "Early Christmas present?! Why, cause it's snowing?!"
Then he goes outside, and comes back in with........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is my early Christmas present and he is six weeks old and I named him Mr. Rochester, Chester for short. Tiny baby Chester! He is totally chill about not knowing what the hell is going on. Poor kid had been a lost stray momless baby, and then was living with a good Samaritan for a while, and the good Samaritan give him to Matt, and Matt took him to the vet, and the vet poked him and shined lights on him and stuck him with needles, and then Matt tied a ribbon on him and gave him to me, and I pawed at him and cuddled him and wouldn't put him down. So he has had a rough life so far. But he is sort of like "Whatever" about it. He's not asking for any special treatment. He's too cool for all y'all's nonsense. Mr. Rochester is a total badass despite weighing less than a hank of Cascade 220 and having a nerdy English literature name.
Sister and Lucy haven't met him yet. They are quarantined in the basement while he gets acclimated. Matt gave them tuna in an effort to make them associate Chester with delicious tuna.
Oh, hey, City of Columbus, I'd like to tell you that I've been sitting in my shop looking out my giant front windows at the street all day and you are doing a TERRIBLE JOB of keeping the roads clear. You're gettin' my goat here.
People keep sliding around and getting stuck, and I haven't seen a single snow plow. This is getting ridiculous! I mean jeeze, this is High Street. It's the first road you should plow. What the hell?Hey, wear a scarf, guys, it's cold out there!
Bruce
Friday, November 28, 2008
Whew!
Everyone,
Well, man oh man, it's been a lot of work to get here, but here we are!
The shop is opening Monday, Dec 1. Brax and I are really, really excited about it! Here is what it looks like right now:
Yes, we've still got a lot of work to do. But trust me, tagging yarn and putting it on shelves is like a trip to the Fireworks, Candy, and Puppydog Store after months of dealing with the bank, painting, installing flooring, figuring out tax procedures, and getting UPS to actually give us our packages.
Here is the deal with the shop, except with even more information this time:
WonderKnit!
3165 N. High St
Columbus, OH
43202
Opening day is Monday, December 1! Hours: 11AM-7PM every day except Tuesday. We're closed Tuesday.
Mr. Cabbage is being Mr. Rad and putting together our website for us, but it's not done yet. It's www.wonderknit.com .
Please Be Our Friend!
You can be our friend on MySpace (www.myspace.com/wonderknit)!
And you can be our friend on Ravelry (http://www.ravelry.com/people/WonderKnitter)!
There's even a Ravelry group waiting for anyone who wants to be a WonderKnitter.
The Credits
We had a Women's Studies professor in college that used to always talk about the "myth of independence," meaning that people in America always think they can do things on their own, when in reality no one does anything on their own. Here are the credits:
Grandma for the collateral
Mom for everything
Dad for the handymen
Ali for the truck
Topher, Juan, Josh, Matt, and Ali for the free labor
Brandon for the computer and the website
Erin for the designs
Cabbage for the enthusiasm and promotion
Karida for custom yarn and teaching me to self promote
Goodies and families for believing we could do it
Wine Lips
I will keep posting on this blog because I love this blog, but we can try and keep the shop stuff separate, ok? Like, maybe if something really cool is going on at the shop, I'll link to it or something, but this is not going to be the WonderKnit blog. I blog because I like to write, and I want this blog to keep being a place where I can come write.
Brax and I started this blog when we were both in the middle of our own crappy journeys. The last two years, we have blogged and blogged about how we wished we were living in the same city, close to our families and old friends, and doing something creative and fulfilling with our time. Now things have come full circle, and we're both back where we started. It's all very "What-I-was-looking-for-was-in-my-own-backyard" etc, like in Wizard of Oz. It is cheezy, but it is part of what we learned. And of course, now that we're here there is a whole set of new challenges for us. But I have to say, challenges are easier to face from out these new windows.
I guess now that we're in this new place, this new old place, the blog has to change. We don't need to correspond, cause we see each other every day. We don't need to bitch about our jobs, because we made our own jobs, and they are what we make them. (We might bitch about our on-the-side serving jobs occasionally, I guess. But other than the occasional jerky customer, serving is a good gig.) We are busier and more engaged with our lives, so we will probably post less. I don't know! We will take it one day at a time, and see where we end up.
The point is, WonderKnit stuff will be taken care of elsewhere, Wine Lips will keep being a place where we come and complain and talk about yarn and recover from our hangovers, and we hope you'll keep thinking we're funny.
See you Monday!
Love,
Bruce
Well, man oh man, it's been a lot of work to get here, but here we are!
The shop is opening Monday, Dec 1. Brax and I are really, really excited about it! Here is what it looks like right now:
Yes, we've still got a lot of work to do. But trust me, tagging yarn and putting it on shelves is like a trip to the Fireworks, Candy, and Puppydog Store after months of dealing with the bank, painting, installing flooring, figuring out tax procedures, and getting UPS to actually give us our packages.Here is the deal with the shop, except with even more information this time:
WonderKnit!
3165 N. High St
Columbus, OH
43202
Opening day is Monday, December 1! Hours: 11AM-7PM every day except Tuesday. We're closed Tuesday.
Mr. Cabbage is being Mr. Rad and putting together our website for us, but it's not done yet. It's www.wonderknit.com .
Please Be Our Friend!
You can be our friend on MySpace (www.myspace.com/wonderknit)!
And you can be our friend on Ravelry (http://www.ravelry.com/people/WonderKnitter)!
There's even a Ravelry group waiting for anyone who wants to be a WonderKnitter.
The Credits
We had a Women's Studies professor in college that used to always talk about the "myth of independence," meaning that people in America always think they can do things on their own, when in reality no one does anything on their own. Here are the credits:
Grandma for the collateral
Mom for everything
Dad for the handymen
Ali for the truck
Topher, Juan, Josh, Matt, and Ali for the free labor
Brandon for the computer and the website
Erin for the designs
Cabbage for the enthusiasm and promotion
Karida for custom yarn and teaching me to self promote
Goodies and families for believing we could do it
Wine Lips
I will keep posting on this blog because I love this blog, but we can try and keep the shop stuff separate, ok? Like, maybe if something really cool is going on at the shop, I'll link to it or something, but this is not going to be the WonderKnit blog. I blog because I like to write, and I want this blog to keep being a place where I can come write.
Brax and I started this blog when we were both in the middle of our own crappy journeys. The last two years, we have blogged and blogged about how we wished we were living in the same city, close to our families and old friends, and doing something creative and fulfilling with our time. Now things have come full circle, and we're both back where we started. It's all very "What-I-was-looking-for-was-in-my-own-backyard" etc, like in Wizard of Oz. It is cheezy, but it is part of what we learned. And of course, now that we're here there is a whole set of new challenges for us. But I have to say, challenges are easier to face from out these new windows.
I guess now that we're in this new place, this new old place, the blog has to change. We don't need to correspond, cause we see each other every day. We don't need to bitch about our jobs, because we made our own jobs, and they are what we make them. (We might bitch about our on-the-side serving jobs occasionally, I guess. But other than the occasional jerky customer, serving is a good gig.) We are busier and more engaged with our lives, so we will probably post less. I don't know! We will take it one day at a time, and see where we end up.
The point is, WonderKnit stuff will be taken care of elsewhere, Wine Lips will keep being a place where we come and complain and talk about yarn and recover from our hangovers, and we hope you'll keep thinking we're funny.
See you Monday!
Love,
Bruce
Monday, November 24, 2008
Jeans. Again. Sigh.
Hey Brax,
Right now I think you're gettin' ready to head to Monday night karaoke. Not me, not tonight. I need to rest and stuff. Also I really can't afford to have one of those dirty Pabst Blue Ribbon hangovers tomorrow, since we need to bustass on the shop.
My mom told my Aunt Jean about our blog and she read it (hi, Aunt Jean!), and then she e mailed me to tell me not to flush Puff's down the toilet because it will mess up the plumbing. I know, man, I was desperate! Anyway, Aunt Jean, as soon as I posted that blog about the kleenex, Brax came over and dropped off a roll each of paper towels and TP, so I'm good.
Tonight I went shopping for jeans. The whole thing pretty much got my goat.
Right now I think you're gettin' ready to head to Monday night karaoke. Not me, not tonight. I need to rest and stuff. Also I really can't afford to have one of those dirty Pabst Blue Ribbon hangovers tomorrow, since we need to bustass on the shop.
My mom told my Aunt Jean about our blog and she read it (hi, Aunt Jean!), and then she e mailed me to tell me not to flush Puff's down the toilet because it will mess up the plumbing. I know, man, I was desperate! Anyway, Aunt Jean, as soon as I posted that blog about the kleenex, Brax came over and dropped off a roll each of paper towels and TP, so I'm good.
Tonight I went shopping for jeans. The whole thing pretty much got my goat.
I hate shopping. Nothing makes you feel worse about yourself than shopping. First I tried on about 700 pairs of jeans in the Junior's department. See, I was told I should check Juniors, because they have odd numbered sizes, and I've been having a lot of trouble with the even numbers. I used to be an 8. Then I was a 10. 8. 10. 8. 10. NEITHER!!!!! Now I'm kind of a 9. I do not understand these fluctuations. My lifestyle is pretty steady. My theory is that my weight is affected by stress.
I don't even have a scale, you guys. My target weight is NOT BUYING JEANS.
So anyway, I was shopping for jeans and I was in Juniors, and whenever I'm in that department I'm A) afraid of knocking over a skinny teenager with my ass and B) sort of afraid the popular girls will make fun of me. So I tried on all these pants and found two that were ok, but man, they sure are making jeans ride low. Is this what the young girls are wearing?
So I headed over to the women's department and found these jeans that fit me perfectly except they were mom jeans. They came up to my neck and ballooned out around my thighs. I kind of wanted to shoot those jeans with a gun. If only I'd had a gun in my handbag.
In the end I bought two pairs of jeans, from the Junior's department, one a size 9 and one a size 11 (Why? How? Hate pants.) but I'm not really in love with them and I may take them back.
After the jeans I headed to the bra department and I do not even want to talk to you about it.
All I know is that I meandered around the bra department for a really long time trying to find the Playtex Thank Goodness It Fits Bra, which has half sizes. Everywhere I looked, all I could see were all these signs that said "full figured." I know that it is hard for girls with big 'uns. I want y'all to be able to find nice bras. I like that there are lots of "full figured" bras, clearly labeled. I just want equal treatment! I want to see the giant sign that says TITLESS. Then I could just waltz in and grab my little half-sizer and get the hell out.
Here's the problem, though, when you finally find the Titless bras, they're all padded to oblivion. Padded to full figured. Que? I just want a holster for my girls, you guys. I don't want a whole microfiber fake girls setup.
It was just really stressful. And the moral of the story is, I hate shopping when I need something. Shopping is only fun when you are bored and have some extra money and decide to pop in to see what's on sale. Shopping for something is pretty much the worst.
Ok, I am going to go watch Charlie Brown Christmas now.
Luv,
Bruce
Thursday, November 13, 2008
crappy crap
Things that are hard today include:
Being out of toilet paper and paper towels, reappropriating Kleenex for these purposes.
Being out of vegetables.
The light keeps changing in my office as the sun travels across the sky and this makes it difficult to take photographs of knitted things.
Turns out my washer doesn't do "hot" loads. I don't know why I imagined it would.
I made a really involved budget spreadsheet for the shop and then Excel crashed and lost it.
I seem to be really tired.
I overslept.
Accomplishing things is hard!
Ummm.....I have a bunch of crap to do. That's the main thing. It is stressing me out.
I should probably stop listing all the things that are bugging me and instead actually do some stuff...you know, finish things.
My bathroom cabinet is really messy and there is all kinds of crap just crammed in there. Any time I take something out, it causes a chain reaction resulting in stuff falling out of the cabinet. This happened earlier today. I got out my hair dryer and it caused an eyeshadow to fall out and break and now there is fine, sparkley orange powder all over the floor, which paper towels would be just ideal for.
Sister really wants to sit on my laptop, and I feel like I am rejecting her love because I keep putting her on the floor.
OK. OK. Stopping. Working. Right.
-Bruce
Being out of toilet paper and paper towels, reappropriating Kleenex for these purposes.
Being out of vegetables.
The light keeps changing in my office as the sun travels across the sky and this makes it difficult to take photographs of knitted things.
Turns out my washer doesn't do "hot" loads. I don't know why I imagined it would.
I made a really involved budget spreadsheet for the shop and then Excel crashed and lost it.
I seem to be really tired.
I overslept.
Accomplishing things is hard!
Ummm.....I have a bunch of crap to do. That's the main thing. It is stressing me out.
I should probably stop listing all the things that are bugging me and instead actually do some stuff...you know, finish things.
My bathroom cabinet is really messy and there is all kinds of crap just crammed in there. Any time I take something out, it causes a chain reaction resulting in stuff falling out of the cabinet. This happened earlier today. I got out my hair dryer and it caused an eyeshadow to fall out and break and now there is fine, sparkley orange powder all over the floor, which paper towels would be just ideal for.
Sister really wants to sit on my laptop, and I feel like I am rejecting her love because I keep putting her on the floor.
OK. OK. Stopping. Working. Right.
-Bruce
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
"TAILS" from serving, ha ha ha!
Duuuudes!
Sorry about the blogging hiatus. I have no excuse.
So, I've been up to all sorts of stuff. As you know, Bruce and I are opening a store! We are SO excited about it, and are looking forward to having our own grown up business to run ourselves! (by "run" I mean "sit around in and knit all day," of course)
In the meantime, I've been waiting tables for money. I sort of hate my job, because no one comes into my restaurant. I usually end up wasting about 25% of my tips on the parking meter, if you know what I mean. But that doesn't mean it hasn't provided plenty of entertainment and good stories!
The other night, I was closing the restaurant, which meant I showed up and immediately cut the other server because it was so slow. Gradually, I accumulated 3 tables over the next hour and a half, one of which was starting to get a little drunk off of those alcoholic coffee drinks we serve. Anyway, I was bringing out an irish coffee to one of them, and the words "can I get you anything else right now?" had barely left my lips when I saw something fall from the drop ceiling, barely miss hitting a girl on the face, and land on the floor.
The girl looked down and gasped, "oh my god! oh my god!" Still standing at the table, I couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened, until I saw a MOUSE scurry away from the table, round a corner, and disappear into the dining room.
For real. A BABY MOUSE almost landed on my table. I immediately apologized, and rushed off to inform the manager, a bartender who had been promoted to "bartender/manager" about 3 weeks ago. He likes to listen to Radiohead on his IPOD while he's working, thus making an already-depressing job that much more unbearable. When I told him about the mouse I had witnessed taking a dive into the dining room, he stammered and kept asking me if I was "sure." I gave up trying to get him to actually "manage" the situation, and went over to my table again to apologize profusely on behalf of the restaurant, promising that I would do anything within my power to resolve the situation.
Thankfully, my table was super cool about it all. Even though everyone else in the restaurant asked for their check about 30 seconds after the word "mouse" was first uttered, they stayed, eventually CATCHING the mouse and humanely setting it free outside. This valient effort earned them a free bucket of beer on top of their already-comped check, and they left me a really nice tip.
In conclusion, I would like to add that while the GM of the restaurant showed up, she did very little to help the situation, save from comping my table's bill. When I told her about the mouse, she ran around the dining room looking for it, crowing about how it must be "sad" and "miss its family," and loudly providing our guests with the insight that "we share the earth with all its animals, after all." When she caught me rolling my eyes at her gauche behavior, she said, "ha ha, Karen is so scared of the little mouse!" No, she and I just have wildly differing views on sanitation . I told her she was lucky the health inspector wasn't there, hoping that she would grasp the severity of the situation (or at least the need to bring in an exterminator), but she ignored me.
I hate having more managerial experience and skill than my boss.
Anyway, I'm sorry for the long lapse, and I hope to share many more Serving Horror Stories with you all soon!
Love,
Brax
Sorry about the blogging hiatus. I have no excuse.
So, I've been up to all sorts of stuff. As you know, Bruce and I are opening a store! We are SO excited about it, and are looking forward to having our own grown up business to run ourselves! (by "run" I mean "sit around in and knit all day," of course)
In the meantime, I've been waiting tables for money. I sort of hate my job, because no one comes into my restaurant. I usually end up wasting about 25% of my tips on the parking meter, if you know what I mean. But that doesn't mean it hasn't provided plenty of entertainment and good stories!
The other night, I was closing the restaurant, which meant I showed up and immediately cut the other server because it was so slow. Gradually, I accumulated 3 tables over the next hour and a half, one of which was starting to get a little drunk off of those alcoholic coffee drinks we serve. Anyway, I was bringing out an irish coffee to one of them, and the words "can I get you anything else right now?" had barely left my lips when I saw something fall from the drop ceiling, barely miss hitting a girl on the face, and land on the floor.
The girl looked down and gasped, "oh my god! oh my god!" Still standing at the table, I couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened, until I saw a MOUSE scurry away from the table, round a corner, and disappear into the dining room.
For real. A BABY MOUSE almost landed on my table. I immediately apologized, and rushed off to inform the manager, a bartender who had been promoted to "bartender/manager" about 3 weeks ago. He likes to listen to Radiohead on his IPOD while he's working, thus making an already-depressing job that much more unbearable. When I told him about the mouse I had witnessed taking a dive into the dining room, he stammered and kept asking me if I was "sure." I gave up trying to get him to actually "manage" the situation, and went over to my table again to apologize profusely on behalf of the restaurant, promising that I would do anything within my power to resolve the situation. Thankfully, my table was super cool about it all. Even though everyone else in the restaurant asked for their check about 30 seconds after the word "mouse" was first uttered, they stayed, eventually CATCHING the mouse and humanely setting it free outside. This valient effort earned them a free bucket of beer on top of their already-comped check, and they left me a really nice tip.
In conclusion, I would like to add that while the GM of the restaurant showed up, she did very little to help the situation, save from comping my table's bill. When I told her about the mouse, she ran around the dining room looking for it, crowing about how it must be "sad" and "miss its family," and loudly providing our guests with the insight that "we share the earth with all its animals, after all." When she caught me rolling my eyes at her gauche behavior, she said, "ha ha, Karen is so scared of the little mouse!" No, she and I just have wildly differing views on sanitation . I told her she was lucky the health inspector wasn't there, hoping that she would grasp the severity of the situation (or at least the need to bring in an exterminator), but she ignored me.
I hate having more managerial experience and skill than my boss.
Anyway, I'm sorry for the long lapse, and I hope to share many more Serving Horror Stories with you all soon!
Love,
Brax
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